By Jim Heffernan
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what generally happens when someone says or writes something that another person doesn’t agree with. A person with strong opinions and weak filters, like me, will most likely run for his “culture warrior sword”* and rush into battle. The “culture warrior” is convinced truth, and maybe God, is on his side. He must take action. There be demons about and he must cast them out! We’ve mostly progressed beyond using actual swords, so we use words instead. What matters most is casting out the demons, so he carefully crafts his words for maximum effect, sometimes stretching or even breaking the truth to make his point. Charity and gentleness are just useless burdens when demons be about.
I have to admit that in times past, I have taken great joy in wielding my “culture warrior sword”. I’m losing my taste for it now. I’ve resolved to make charity and gentleness into a cloak I can wear always. Sadly, wearing that cloak is a little against my nature. An organization called Braver Angels* is helping me in my journey away from being a “culture warrior”.
The organization was founded just after the 2016 election with the hope of bridging unnecessary divides in society. It was originally named “Better Angels” to echo Abraham Lincoln’s first Inaugural Speech in 1861 when he closed with, “I am loath to close. We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.”
In 2020, the name was changed to Braver Angels partly to settle a trademark dispute and also to pay homage to the bravery required to have respectful conversation outside our preferred silo of opinion.
I became enamored of Braver Angels when I read Monica Guzman’s book, “I Never Thought of It That Way: How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times” in 2021.
Monica is a very liberal Hispanic Seattle journalist who was troubled when conversations with her conservative immigrant parents often ended in tears because of their political differences.
With clear and penetrating logic, she outlines what causes our distress and offers a way out of it. The cause is distilled down to the acronym SOS. It’s very apt that it matches the classic distress signal, but what it stands for is Sorting, Othering, and Siloing.
Sorting happens when we separate ourselves into groups based on politics or race.
Othering happens we react to sorting by identifying people as either “us” or “them” -other.
Siloing happens when we seek our conversation and news in silos, the same sources, that don’t ask us to stray from our beliefs. Sorting, Othering, and Siloing — none of them are good for us or for the nation.
The way out of our distress is exemplified by her “Melting the Mountains” experience in 2018. Monica lives in King County, Washington, which voted for Hillary by a 74% margin. They search and find an “opposite” county which turns out to be Sherman County, Oregon, which voted for Trump by a 74% margin. They call a Sherman County newspaper reporter and she makes arrangements for a conference between 16 Sherman County residents and 16 King County visitors. The King County people charter a bus and travel to Sherman County, where over a few days, they have “Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times”.
In hopes of ending my days as a “culture warrior”, I’ve joined Braver Angels. I’ve had several rewarding conversations with people with different viewpoints and found out by using curiosity, charity, patience and gentleness, we’ve come away feeling better for it. I think maybe we should all give it a try.
As always, I welcome conversation at codger817@gmail.com.
*I’m indebted for the term to Andy Norman who uses it in his excellent book “Mental Immunity: Infectious Ideas, Mind-Parasites, and the Search for a Better Way to Think” (2021)
Braver Angels 1-1 Red-Blue Conversation Guide (1)
*BRAVER ANGELS: A national movement to bridge the partisan divide. We are equally balanced between conservatives and progressives at every level of leadership. We work in communities, on college campuses, in the media, and in the halls of political power. Our strength comes from our members and most of our work is done by patriotic volunteers.
Political polarization is crippling America, threatening our democracy, and making our government dysfunctional. It’s tearing apart families, turning neighbors against each other, and eroding trust in and out of the workplace. Better Angels is a 100% volunteer-led movement uniting red and blue Americans in a working alliance to build new ways to talk to one another, participate in public life, and influence the direction of our nation.
