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By Denise Donohue, Local Teen Confidence Coach
If you’ve ever seen a teenager vanish into the depths of their hoodie like a shy turtle avoiding eye contact, congratulations—you may be living with a normal, anxiety-ridden, wonderful teen.
Teen confidence (or lack thereof) is not just about slouched posture, one-word answers, or the mysterious disappearance of their once bubbly personality. It’s about navigating the awkward jungle of high school, social media perfection, and the terrifying possibility of raising their hand in class.
So what’s going on?
Anxiety is often the culprit. It can sound like, “What if I fail?” or “What if I say something weird and everyone laughs?” or the classic, “I just feel…off.” And let’s be honest, adults feel it too—we’ve just gotten better at hiding it behind coffee and busy calendars.
Here are a few quick tips that can help:
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Name it to tame it
If your teen can say, “I’m anxious,” or “I’m overwhelmed,” they’re already halfway to handling it. Normalizing anxiety is key. -
Confidence doesn’t mean loud
Real confidence is quiet. It’s walking into a room and knowing they’re okay being themselves—not needing to prove anything. -
Celebrate awkwardness
Teens often think they’re the only weird one. Let them know awkward is basically the teenage national language. Laugh with them, not at them. -
Micro-wins matter
Got out of bed? Victory. Spoke up once in class? Huge. Small wins build big confidence.
And if you’re reading this thinking, “Wow, this sounds like my kid,”—you’re not alone. I work with teens one-on-one to help them build tools for real confidence and lower that anxiety that’s holding them back. It’s judgment-free, practical, and sometimes even fun (yes, really).
Want to chat and see if coaching might be a good fit?
I offer a free 45-minute consultation.
Call or text: (971)389-1237
Email: optimalcoachingservices@gmail.com
And remember: even the most confident adults were once nervous teens… hiding in hoodies.
